My speech at Sheffield Hallam University - Sheffield at Pennine lecture theatre on the 16th of October 2014.

" Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Sheffield Hallam University Event " Gaza: An eyewitness Account". My name is Hala Al-Naji, and I arrived in Sheffield a month ago from the Gaza Strip. I am studying an MA in Architecture at Sheffield Hallam university.
If you are sitting here at the Pennine lecture THEATRE; it means that you want answers, you are here on your own time because you care about Palestine, Gaza, and humanity ! .And I want you to make sure that I care about all of you as much as you do (this sentence is confusing)
The American writer Jennifer Donnelly once said "Words fails me sometimes. I have read most every word in the Webster's International Dictionary of the English language. But I still have trouble making them come when I want them to."
This is the writers and authors eternal struggle to translate the wordless into words..! . But how about me ?! .. An architectural Engineer who has arrived recently to this land ..I find out that my relationship with language is more complicated than I thought!
On the 7th of July 2014. I was in my office working on a design for a house when I got a call from my father asking me to go back home as fast as possible; as the situation in our area was getting worse and worse, and the Israeli Occupation has just started random shelling on the houses near the border.
I started to collect my stuff and left the office. I never thought for a moment that this would be the last time at my office, but it was destroyed a few days later. All my designs, sketches and ideas for that house became ash. 
My family is made up of my parents, seven sisters and two brothers. One of my brothers is studying medicine in Germany, but the rest of us were in Gaza this summer. During the war I became exhausted, tense, and afraid of losing any of them.
The sounds of the F16 strikes, the gunboats, and the tanks still stick in my head.
I will never forget these days of darkness as there was no electricity .. I would never forget these days of shelling and bombing during the day and the night by land, sea, and air!
During more than 50 days of death in this war, and according to the united nations office for the coordination of humanitarian affairs 2,131 Palestinians were killed, including 1,473 civilians, of whom 501 are children and 257 women. On the other hand only 71 Israeli were killed, including 66 soldiers.
For housing and infrastructure 18,000 housing units were destroyed, leaving 110,000 displaced Palestinians in UNRWA emergency shelters or with host families.
By the way, these statics and figures can be found on the internet, in books, reports, and press. But what you would not be able to read are the moments of fear, panic, and terror that I felt; me, my family, my neighbors, and my friends during those days.
I will never forget that moment when the Israeli Occupation struck our neighbor's house with a warning missile. Shouting and screaming started everywhere, my mother walked through our house calling and asking us to move directly to the safe side of our house far away from the neighbor's house. My father started talking to my little brother and laughing with him trying to calm him down.
We spent more than 3 hours waiting for the F16 to destroy the house after its warning missile. But nothing happened, just moments of torments and waiting for an unknown fate!!
There is nothing in Gaza except death!.. rapid death that comes anytime and anywhere.. as you may die by the warplanes, gunboats, or artillery. Or slow death by using the polluted water, breathing the polluted air, exposure to radiation resulting from the war weapons that have been used by the Israeli occupation, and anxiety, tension, and stress caused by these sequential wars. How can we imagine that a child at the age of ten had witnessed three successive wars!
During the war I worked as a volunteer, and as a part of my voluntary work in UNWRA schools, we ran activities with children and families who were evacuated from their houses after the Israeli occupation destroyed their houses and they were taking shelter there. '
The families in the shelters were and are traumatized and the children needed care and attention, as well as food, water and clothes.
I can not find the words  to describe the situation in UN schools during the war, especially in North Gaza . I remembered being stuck between dozens of families asking for bedding and blankets.. They all spent the previous night on the ground.. the elders, the women, even the babies ..
They were suffering.. No electricity , no water, no clothes, no medicines, no food..! How can babies survive without milk !..
The next day was Eid .. The children had no new clothes, no toys, no balloons like the other children who celebrating this moment with their families !
Once when I was working with children with my friend "Awni" and after finishing relaxation and deep breathing exercises, we started asking the children one by one about what they were thinking about when they were closing their eyes and breathing with deep thinking. 
"Tell me about something you love you were thinking about, and something you hate and get it out from your mind.”
Marah, 8 years old, told Awni;
"I want to get back to my room and to play with my toys"
He said; 
"OK, tell me about something you hate and you were thinking about", he said.
Marah stopped for a while. Then said "I’m afraid to say it… you were standing on the school’s roof, and you got shot by Israeli soldier, I heard the sound of the ambulance. But you were dying"
We smiled and Awni kissed her forehead, but inside we were totally surprised and shocked. Our children were suffering even in their dreams!..

In UNRWA‬ schools when you are working with children you can see details that elder people do not notice .. During the drawing and painting session done by the kids I was surprised by their ability to draw the details of their house and how it has been destroyed!  I wondered how can we replace these tragic memories that attached to their minds with the beauty things?
At least 373,000 children require direct and specialized psychosocial support (PSS). However, children are showing symptoms of increasing distress, including bed wetting, clinging to parents and nightmares.
While I was busy of struggling against death, I got a message from Sheffield Hallam University informs me that I was accepted into a Master of Technical architectural Program and I was awarded a scholarship..
I was so happy. But unfortunately, I could not apply for a visa, as the British office was closed in Gaza during the war. I had three choices at that time; applying for visa in Cairo, Jerusalem, or Amman. I tried to apply for visa in Jerusalem or Jordan because it was not allowed for Palestinians to leave Gaza through Rafah crossing and enter Egypt without visa, but it was so complicated and hard to get permission to leave through the Eriz crossing into Israel. Actually, I felt like I was living in a big prison. I started to lose hope. But I decided to try again through Rafah crossing. I packed my bags and went with my mother to Rafah.. 
Finally and after three times of trying .. after crying, shouting, and asking for mercy and a chance to avoid losing my future, my scholarship; they allowed me to get through.
It was hard days really .. and I feel like no one care!.. It was not about me.. It was about many students still waiting to get out of Gaza to enroll in their courses outside!
In Egypt I have applied for the visa through the British office in Cairo. It took 5 days to get my passport back. And on the 17th of September I left Cairo directly to London and then to Sheffield.!
I have been here for one month now.  
To conclude, I just want to say that I am not talking about a political situation. No, I am not .! I am here to call for Humanity and Justice for Palestinian people especially in Gaza.
Thanks for your support. "